Online Anger Management Therapy in California
Anger itself is not the problem. It is a normal emotion that carries information, and never feeling angry is not the goal. Anger becomes a problem when its intensity exceeds the situation, when your fuse has shortened over time, or when the consequences begin to accumulate—in your relationships with your partner, children, or colleagues, or in your own sense of who you are.
What this looks like
Reactions that are disproportionate to what triggered them
Going from calm to furious with very little in between
Saying things in anger you would not say otherwise, and the remorse afterward
People around you managing their behavior to avoid setting you off
Physical signs — heat, tension, a pounding heart — that arrive before you have registered being angry
Rumination that keeps an incident alive for hours or days
Irritability that has leaked into everything, so everything is annoying
A growing sense that this is not who you want to be
What is usually underneath it
Anger is frequently the visible part of something else. In my work at the VA, anger was rarely the whole story — it commonly sat on top of PTSD, depression, chronic pain, poor sleep, or a nervous system that had spent years on alert.
That matters for treatment. Managing the anger without addressing what is driving it produces limited results. Part of the initial assessment is working out what we are actually dealing with.
How I treat anger
My approach is grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Together, we examine the connections among situations, interpretations, physical arousal, actions, and consequences. Treatment may include:
Understanding your pattern. We map specific incidents in detail — situation, thought, physical response, action, aftermath — until the sequence becomes visible. Anger feels instantaneous. It almost never is, and finding the earlier links is what creates room to intervene.
Recognizing escalation earlier. When you can identify physical and cognitive warning signs at a three out of ten rather than an eight, you have more options for how to respond.
Examining your interpretations. Anger is influenced by appraisals involving disrespect, unfairness, intent, or threat. We evaluate these interpretations carefully, considering which are accurate, which may be automatic, and whether there are other ways to understand the situation.
Reducing physiological arousal. You will learn concrete strategies for regulating your nervous system and practice them until they are accessible when you need them—not only when you are already calm.
Communicating directly and assertively. Sometimes anger builds after concerns have gone unspoken or needs have not been expressed clearly. Learning to address problems earlier and more directly can prevent resentment and escalation.
Repairing relationships. We also work on taking responsibility, communicating after a conflict, and repairing relationships that have been affected by anger.
Two things worth being clear about
This is individual psychotherapy for adults who want help understanding and changing patterns of anger. It is not a court-mandated anger management program, and I do not provide certificates of completion or documentation for courts, employers, or legal requirements.
If there is an immediate risk that you may harm yourself or someone else, this service is not appropriate for urgent or crisis care. Please call 911, call or text 988, or go to the nearest emergency department.
Working together
I am a licensed clinical psychologist providing telehealth to adults anywhere in California. Reaching out about anger takes more than most people give themselves credit for. The free 15-minute consultation is a private, no-obligation place to start.
